Step Your Rap Game Up

If you read XXL magazine, you probably already know what this article is about from the title.  In the magazine, there’s a section titled “Step Your Rap Game Up” where they put a wack lyric from a rapper.  I was listening to some music last week and heard a great lyricist drop a wack lyric and it got me to thinking about how some of the best emcees have dropped wack lyrics from time to time.  Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of 7 wack lyrics that were said by rappers that are considered to be dope lyricists.

Redman – 5 Boroughs

 “My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve song LP, that’s 36 mics.”

Mathematically, I have no idea how this line works.  How many paragraphs are in a song?  Even if there’s only one, if the album has 12 songs and a paragraph is worth 5 mics, that should be 60 mics at a minimum, so where is the 36 coming from?  Redman is one of hip-hop’s most well-known weed heads, so maybe it is true that weed destroys the brain cells.

J. Cole – Dollar and a Dream III

“I let you feel like the s***, but boy, you can’t out-fart me.”

Unless we’re back in elementary, I have no idea why J. Cole is taking pride in out-farting somebody.  I mean, he actually wrote this lyric down and said it on a record.  Where’s the quality control?  Nobody in the studio said anything?  This line represents what happens when an artist surrounds himself with yes-men.

Eminem – Love the Way You Lie

“Now you get to watch her leave out the window/Guess that’s why the call it window pain.”

This was the line that inspired this article.  Every time I hear it, I’m disappointed in Em.  I just want to tell him that I don’t think that’s the reason they call it a windowpane.  I mean, what the hell, he’s supposed to be one of the greatest lyricists of all-time and he says this?  And he says it with such emotion as if we’re supposed to excuse the cheesiness of the line because he sounds pained when he says it. 

Rakim – Paid In Full

“Me and Eric B., and a nice big plate of fish, which is my favorite dish.”

It seems almost blasphemous to include Rakim in this article, but my boy Shun pointed this lyric out to me a few years ago.  I didn’t want to believe it was a wack lyric at the time because it’s Rakim and Rakim is supposed to be the greatest.  I mean really, it’s Rakim, but then when you hear the rhyme.  “A nice big plate of fish, which is my favorite dish.”  This could have been avoided if he had just eaten before he came to the studio.  Then he wouldn’t have been sitting around thinking about the big plate of catfish he was going to get when the session was over.

Jay-Z – Glory

“You’re a child of destiny/You’re the child of my destiny/You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child”

Jay released this freestyle shortly after the birth of his daughter so he was probably still emotional over that, so maybe he gets a partial pass for this line, but come on, “You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child”?  Didn’t Jay learn from the Super Ugly debacle about what can go wrong when you release emotional freestyles?  It has been my belief that family life has made Jay get lazy with the lyrics and this line is a prime example of that fact.  When Jay has these types of emotional moments in his life, I’m going to need him to start waiting 24 hours before he releases music so that it can go through the quality control process that he’ll be implementing for himself and J. Cole.

Ghostface Killah – Nutmeg

“Scooby snack, Jurassic plastic gas, booby trap/Ten years workin’ for me, you wanna tap s***?/Bung, bung, bung, your bell went rung, rung, rung”

Jay-Z once said, “Cause you don’t understand him, it don’t mean that he nice/It just means you don’t understand all the (mess) that he writes.”  That sums up how I feel about this Ghostface line.  This line is like hearing the adults on Peanuts talk.  I have no idea what he’s talking about.  What is Jurassic plastic gas?  If someone knows, please tell me and I understand that my bell went rung, rung, rung, but what exactly was going bung, bung, bung?

Eminem – Space Bound

“Love is evil.  Spell it backwards, I’ll show ya.”

I almost feel bad for putting Em on this list twice because if I had thought or looked harder, I’m sure I could have found another great lyricist that said something wack, but this line stands out almost as much as the window pain line.  When I spell love backwards, I get evol.  Because it’s Em, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that evil was somewhere in there, but I haven’t been able to find it.  I also think that I may be getting dumber as I age, because I swear it seems like I try to spell love backwards every time I hear the rhyme and each time, I come up with evol.

So that's 7 wack lyrics by otherwise dope emcees.  I know there are a lot more than that floating out there, so if you can think of any, let me know.  Until next time…peace